Tag Archives: relationships

White Ribbon Day in New Zealand

Today is White Ribbon day.

New Zealand has shameful violence against women statistics.

KEY STATISTICS

One in three women will experience partner violence at some point in their lives[i]
On average, 14 women are killed by their partners or ex partners in New Zealand each year.[ii]
Over 3,500 convictions are recorded against men each year for assaults on women[iii]
Only 20% of abuse cases are reported[iv]

The Families Commission and White Ribbon Committee works with multiple agencies and NGOs to coordinate the national campaign. The White Ribbon campaign compliments but is separate to the family violence It’s Not OK campaign.

White ribbons are worn today to encourage men to say no to violence against women.

It is a critical cause to support by us all.

“Love at the end of the road” by Rae Roadley

The interesting play on words in this book’s title and the name of the author drew my attention recently in the library.

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and I found it hard to put down at times.

I love peoples’ stories, how they grow in life, what makes people tick and this all forms a good deal of this book as Rae documents her evolving relationship with Rex.

But there is so much more in this book that held my attention. Rae cleverly intertwines the history of the area in which she lives. The Kaipara is steeped in history both pre- European and since European settlement. Family history abounds and again Rae cleverly links the people she meets and is surrounded by in her life, back to past generations and their lives. The family trees in Appendix one are very useful reference points to assist the reader with the detail and intricate connections Rae writes about.

I’m a “townie”, just as Rae once was, so I found her stories and experiences learning about rural life entertaining, informative and amusing. I think she adapted to the life remarkably well and in ways I would not have done.

But the house she comes to live in with Rex, at the end of the road, is not just a very old, now historic house, which is in a rural location. It also sits on the edge of the Kaipara harbour and alongside the Otamatea River. Naturally there is a wealth of history and activity to be mined from these important waterways, all of which enriched my understanding of an environment very different from anything within my experience.

The book is packed with colourful characters, both human and animal. In typical rural New Zealand fashion there are endless anecdotes around food and a sprinkling of never fail recipes included in the book.

The photography and illustrations provide visual impact and information.

It is a rich, well researched and well referenced read. I came away having learnt a lot about people and how they tick and how lives and ways of living can be so very, very different. Rae’s book has piqued my interest in, one day, visiting this beautiful part of my lovely country.

You can visit Rae’s website here and she blogs as well.

Some welcome news

How often news reports contain only doom and gloom but today I heard an item that made my heart sing and gives me hope.

The people responsible for doing home care service reviews in 5 District Health Boards around the country are going to return to that old fashioned concept of meeting people in their own homes to do these assessments.

For the last year assessments have been conducted via telephone. The move to this, at the time, appalled so many people yet despite valid protests and concerns the scheme went ahead. It was heart-wrenching to hear of elderly or disabled people losing their support systems after a telephone interview.

I love emails and the contacts that the internet brings to me but I also love and value getting together with people. We cannot do everything from a remote location and the care of people seems to me to be one area of life that requires trusting, face to face relationships.

Saturday Tips: 7 Tips to improve human relations

The 6 most important words: “I admit I made a mistake”

The 5 most important words: “You did a good job”

The 4 most important words: “What is your opinion?”

The 3 most important words: “If you please”

The 2 most important words: “Thank you.”

The 1 most important word. “We”

The least important word: “I”

Source unknown

The soft stuff

My work as a trainer and facilitator was once described by someone as “the soft stuff” that was “an extra to other skills”. My workshops and courses were in areas of self awareness, self development, communication and facilitation skills, relationships, stress and time management, assertiveness, listening, understanding interpersonal dynamics, team work, effective groups, leadership and parenting skills. Underpinning these was my philosophy that life-long learning is a vital part of being human and enjoying life.

The comment did cause me to reflect on my work but I felt certain it was critical work and not just “the extra” to more important skills. The soft stuff helps to overcome the hard stuff.

So it was extremely reassuring to hear an interview on the radio yesterday where self awareness, self care, empathy, supportive relationships, adaptability and willingness to grow and change were all critical as the babyboomers begin to consider the later years of their lives. The good news is that for many the “later years” could span 30 plus years.

One of the women being interviewed lives in Christchurch and she commented that these same skills are critical as people begin to adjust to their new ways of living in that city.

I am planning to set up another blog exploring self awareness and resilience building. Watch this space, as they say. I hope you might be interested in following that blog too:-)