Toronto men against violence…….. wearing those shoes……

Further to my post of yesterday.

Here are men in Toronto showing their support for White Ribbon Day. Stop violence against women walk.

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White Ribbon Day in New Zealand

Today is White Ribbon day.

New Zealand has shameful violence against women statistics.

KEY STATISTICS

One in three women will experience partner violence at some point in their lives[i]
On average, 14 women are killed by their partners or ex partners in New Zealand each year.[ii]
Over 3,500 convictions are recorded against men each year for assaults on women[iii]
Only 20% of abuse cases are reported[iv]

The Families Commission and White Ribbon Committee works with multiple agencies and NGOs to coordinate the national campaign. The White Ribbon campaign compliments but is separate to the family violence It’s Not OK campaign.

White ribbons are worn today to encourage men to say no to violence against women.

It is a critical cause to support by us all.

The map is not the territory

On Monday I visited a photographic exhibition “All Woman – a modern Portrait of New Zealand Women” by photographer Bev Short.

Tanja and Te Kaahurangi Maioha

The portraits are of New Zealand women ranging in age from teen to 90 years old and who have achieved in disparate activities and often against the odds.

I loved this exhibition. Alongside each portrait was a “story” or short biography about the woman pictured. I adore people’s stories. So I read eagerly.

Within many of the stories were little connections that matched my experiences as a female born in the 1950’s being buffeted by gender discrimination; growing in awareness in the 60’s and 70’s; volunteering in both Parents Centre and Playcentre where empowerment underpinned the work; working in community education; facilitating women’s self awareness and personal growth and development; observing others compassion and strong sense of social justice.

So as I read my feelings swung from sad recognition, to feelings of affirmation and strength, to acknowledgement and wisdom, to bewilderment over how much work is still required to gain equity and to wonder over so many startling achievements by women despite the odds and the tug of biology.

And, of course, there were photos to soak up. Some were vivid and colourful, others darker featuring light in a different way. Some were active shots, others with a stillness. All reflecting, in some way, the woman portrayed.

Several struck me deeply: the powerfully warm, deep connection between a woman and her horse; the serene, confident stillness of a teenage mother who has blossomed in her academic studies; the soft beauty and colour of a nurse who had worked in war ravaged countries; the deeply powerful image of a woman who had escaped a violent relationship, but who had behind her all the women who had died in a domestic violence situation since she had escaped.

I could go on……The exhibition has been extended until 22nd July 2012 and it is free. If you read along in Wellington, make time to go.

If you live elsewhere the links to the Gallery and to Bev Short’s website will offer you more information and a glimpse of the richness.

And since viewing the exhibition I have thought a lot about judgement and how “the map is not the territory”……Alfred Korzybski

More fun ideas

My informal research about what women did to play and have fun also included the following:

Soaking in a bath

Playing with collections of dolls and teddies

Writing anything “non heavy” e.g emails to friends, letters to family

Coffee and chocolate

Repartee and friendships with work colleagues

Professional development, learning and the anticipation related to new challenges in those areas

Playing with ideas, opinions, viewpoints and words

Pottering about on a musical instrument

Sitting in the sun

Having breakfast in bed

Watching early morning television

Christmas time, visiting Santa’s Cave and specialty areas in shops

Imaginary stories, fairies etc

Gardening and baking = thinking time while doing things

Craft and creative activities

Playing with crayons, pastels and colours

Playing with spiritual “tools” – meditation, Reiki, visualisations

Finding time, taking time and giving themselves permission to do any or all of these nourishing activities were the biggest obstacles to increasing fun and play in the women’s lives.

Fun and Games

A few years ago I was challenged by someone to consider how I played and had fun.   I had a few ideas about what I did but the question piqued my interest about what other adult women did to play and have fun.  I sent this question to 18 women of varying ages and I received 10 responses.

Many women reported the following as ways to play and have fun:   Music, singing and dancing; reading books or magazines; playing with their own children or other people’s children;  enjoying pets; nature based activities, such as beach walking, picking flowers, skipping stones; shopping both browsing and purchasing; spending time with others, having a meal together, sharing experiences, new places to visit, visiting friends, playing tricks and pranks on friends, or simply blobbing out with a preferred person.

Being able to feel free enough to really express ourselves in a joyful happy way without the burden of responsibilities and worries, even for brief moments is a healthy thing to do for ourselves.

Tomorrow I will post a list of other fun and playful things the women mentioned in their replies.